I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
His nipple licking is glorious
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
