she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
