yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
