Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
