when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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