More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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