you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
