careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
