As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
well, you know. whores of a feather.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
