your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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