i would punch a child for taco bell
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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