Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
