what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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