I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
