Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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