She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Sober January is a disaster.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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