I CAN MOONWALK!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
