Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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