Fine. I'll sleep in my office
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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