Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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