I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
