What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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