Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
