Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
