Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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