going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
