ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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