Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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