i don't like sucking hair
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
