Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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