shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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