How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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