i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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