I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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