I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
