there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
