Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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