Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
