just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
