No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
