I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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