I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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