i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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