do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
