office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
