I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
