I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
