so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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