i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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