If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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