I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
