Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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